We’re heading to Todd’s parents’ house near Asheville for the long Easter weekend, which means I’m cramming five days of life into just three. Naturally, I also scheduled lunches with friends on Monday and Tuesday, and a hair appointment on Wednesday—because why not make things even tighter?

This week’s edition of Cooped Up might feel a little more like one of those “important after-school specials” we all watched growing up. You know, the ones that suddenly got very serious and made you think twice about peer pressure, drugs or eating lunch with the goth kids. I’m talking about big feelings, big realizations and some necessary shifts happening in our house.

That said, don’t worry—I still managed to wedge in a prom dress shopping story, a tip about owning your name as a domain (yes, really) and a few delightful distractions along the way.

Also, when I was at lunch with my bestie Eric, our waiter overheard that I recently had a milestone birthday. Next thing I know, a crème brûlée shows up with what I can only describe as a handheld pyrotechnics display. If this is what 50 looks like, I’m just relieved my eyebrows are still intact.

Modern Parenting

Finally...Something That Made It All Make Sense

Late last week, I listened to Oprah’s podcast episode with Jonathan Haidt about his new book The Anxious Generation—and y’all, I cried. Like, ugly cried. Every story about teens, social media and dopamine addiction felt like they were talking about our family. I said “this is us” so many times, I felt like I was on This Is Us.

After the podcast, I drove straight to Barnes & Noble, grabbed the book and immediately started crying again IN THE STORE just from holding it. I pretended it was allergies while explaining to the cashier why my eyes looked like I’d been sobbing in the self-help aisle.

I’ve been rage-reading it ever since. It’s one of the most impactful books I’ve read—right up there with The Power of Now and 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. If you have kids, grandkids or just a smartphone within reach, you need to read it and learn how our smartphones are seriously fucking with our brains.

Start with the podcast to get an overview (Apple, Spotify, YouTube) and then move on to the book if you want to learn more (Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Audible).

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How I'm Putting My Phone Back Into Its Place

Inspired by The Anxious Generation, I’ve been trying to take some of my own advice and seriously de-center my phone—not just for me but so my kids can (hopefully) see what it looks like when a grown-up sets boundaries with a magical glowing rectangle.

Here’s what I’ve changed so far:

• I deleted all social media apps from my iPhone. The first day I kept grabbing my phone like a lab rat looking for its dopamine pellet. I can still look at them on my iPad and my desktop computer. And if it’s urgent, I can pull up the mobile site—which is clunky enough to be a deterrent. Think of it as the rotary phone of Instagram access.
• No phones in the bedroom. It charges in my closet. I now use a real alarm clock like it’s 1997.
• Turned off all non-essential notifications. That includes “likes,” “follows” and “breaking news” from websites that break my attention more than the news. (I'm actually thinking about completely deleting all news apps, too.)
• Removed the car mount from my dashboard. I always sort of hated how it made my phone the main character in the car anyway. And I don't need to look more like an Uber than I already feel.
• I’m actively trying not to scroll every time I’m “bored”—in line, at a stoplight, waiting for water to boil, I just...exist. Wild, right?!
• I set it down in another room when I don’t actually need it. Out of sight, out of hand.

None of this is perfect, and it really hasn’t been easy. But I feel less twitchy. More present. And slightly smug, if I’m honest.

Digital Smarts

Buy Your Name Before Someone Else Does!

Years ago, I bought the .com versions of everyone in our family’s names. Not because I think we’re all destined for fame (though... never say never), but because I wanted to make sure no one could use those domains against us someday.

If one of the kids becomes a public figure or, more likely, pisses someone off, I don’t want that person buying their name just to post weird shit or redirect it to something shady. It’s a $13-a-year insurance policy. Highly recommend it.

I get mine from Wordpress.com. You can just buy the domains without hosting anything. (I have Todd's forwarded to his LinkedIn bio.)

Family Moments

We Said Yes To The Prom Dress

Claire and I went prom dress shopping over the weekend for her very first prom. I’m not ready to talk about how she somehow became this stunning 16-year-old overnight. She looked gorgeous and confident (which, of course, SHE IS!). It’s wild watching your baby girl try on gowns while you do emotional math in your head about how many weekends you have left until she’s off to college.

We found one. She’s in love. And I managed to keep my meltdown mostly contained.

Also—don’t sleep on Dillard’s, y’all. I hadn’t been in ages, but I was genuinely impressed. Their “prom shop” setup had everything all in one place, which made the whole process way easier (and way less like a chaotic dress hunt through the racks of despair). Big props.

Photos are under wraps until after prom.

Better Homes & Y'all Know

One Home Task A Week? Yes, Please!

I recently discovered a free email called Weekly Home Check that sends you one little task each week to maintain your home. It was created for first-time homeowners, but honestly, it’s great for those of us who’ve owned for decades and still don’t know what half the buttons on the dishwasher do. It’s simple. It’s manageable. And it’s the only to-do list I haven’t immediately ignored.

​You can check it out here if your baseboards need a little tough love too.

Sh!t Cooper Says

"Don't ask questions you're not ready to have answered."

- Cooper Koch

This is my go-to line when my teens wander too close to the truth. Eight years ago this very week, Claire and Mason asked, “Are you and Papa the Easter Bunny?” I paused and said, “Are you sure you want to know?”

They insisted.

Ten minutes later, we’d buried the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy. The Tooth Fairy hit the hardest. I was like, "Really? The creepy tooth collector who comes to your bed in the middle of the night while you're sleeping is the one you’re going to miss most?!"

On the bright side, we no longer have to sneak around at midnight… and we now sign the good Christmas gifts: Love, Daddy & Papa.

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Thanks for reading another edition of Cooped Up! If you're loving it, forward it to a friend who might need a good laugh or a helpful nudge. And hey—ask me anything, share your thoughts or tell me what you want to see in future issues. I’m all ears (and usually all opinions).

And if you missed last week’s edition, you can read it right here. We talked about lifelong friends, a few everyday upgrades I swear by (including a car trash can I may or may not love too much) and how Betty White makes snail mail better.

YOU ARE LOVED!