We saw Leanne Morgan on Saturday, and she was just as funny live as I’d hoped. Her recent glow-up looks like an overnight success, but the woman’s been grinding at this for 30 years. Respect. Also, plot twist: Oprah and Gayle were at the exact same show. We didn’t find out until the next day, which makes me mad because not one person in the arena seemed to notice. Next time we splurge on a suite, I’m bringing binoculars so I can scope out the other suites and the front rows like a deranged Eagle Scout.

Meanwhile, Mason got himself a job! He’s working weekends at the little grocery store in our neighborhood. If you run into him there, please greet him with a dramatic “I know your dad!” He’ll love that.

BECAUSE I'M TWELVE

Stay Organized, Stay Gay

If you follow me closely on social media, you may have seen that I found a Trapper Keeper with rainbow hearts in the clearance section at my Target, and obviously couldn’t pass it up. I’ve decided that such an absurd folder could only have one use: as the official repository for all my most serious documents. Birth certificates, social security cards, my trademark certificate for Cooped Up. If you missed the whole story behind it, here it is on my Instagram.

TIME TO CELEBRATE

Todd's 50th Is Coming!

Todd’s 50th birthday is in a couple of weeks, and unlike me, he’s not about to throw himself a blowout bash. He just wants a small family dinner. How sweet. I'm in a pickle, though, because what do you give the man who buys himself everything he thinks of? If you’ve found something that worked gifting magic for a middle-aged gay man who’s not quite as prissy as his husband, please don’t gatekeep. Hit reply and share your ideas now!

PARENTING THE TEENS

Pretending "It's Just Allergies"

A couple of weeks ago, we went to a college fair hosted by a group called Colleges That Change Lives. I was so impressed. Their presentation was fantastic, and it gave me such a sense of relief. First, it's a statistic that most colleges accept most kids. Second, there are so many outstanding but lesser-known small colleges out there that actually want your kids, many in storybook college-town settings.

Confession time: it was our very first college fair, and I actually started to cry a little the moment we walked in. I tried to play it off like an allergy attack, but I’m positive no one bought it. If you’re in this season of life, too, it’s worth taking a look at Colleges That Change Lives.

ADD TO CART

My Latest Obsessions

Olay Eye Cream: I grabbed Olay’s “Ten Years Younger” eye cream at Walmart, and I swear my eyes look different after just two weeks. Like they legit look tighter and lighter. Oddly, it’s not available on Amazon, but you can pick it at Walmart here.

Waffle Beach Sweatshirt: J. Crew Factory’s “Beach Sweatshirt” is my new uniform. It’s thinner than a sweatshirt, thicker than a tee, perfect for cool mornings and overly aggressive air conditioning. I’ve got the light gray one on right now. They’re running an extra 60% off clearance as I type this.

Bird Buddy: If you own one of these smart birdfeeders with a camera and didn’t warn me how addictive it is, you’re dead to me. I’ve wasted hours watching close-up videos of cardinals like it’s Must-See TV. Middle-aged dorkdom, fully unlocked. Anyone know if they’re making a hummingbird feeder version yet?

WORDS OF WISDOM

"How wonderful it is that no one has to wait even a minute to start gradually changing the world."

- Anne Frank

While cleaning out my office, I found a postcard from the Anne Frank House in Amsterdam with that quote on it. I think I'm going to frame it for my office.

SNAPPED

Stay Golden

I’ve picked up cross stitch again, because apparently I’m now an 85-year-old woman. Naturally, I had to start with my girls. Dorothy, Rose, Blanche, Sophia… needlepoint saints. Stay Golden, indeed.

​

That’s it for this week! Anyone else feel like they've lived three different lives in the past seven days?!

ICYMI, last Thursday’s newsletter is up on the blog.

Until next time, remember...

YOU ARE LOVED!